Life Update - What's Going On

Hey ya'll. 

I know it has been a hot minute since I've written on here and it kind of came out of nowhere. To be honest, I had tons of posts sitting in drafts waiting to go out and I actually have been writing this post over and over again to get everything out in a way that makes sense.

Let's just get it out in the open. I've been struggling a lot lately. 

If you've been a follower for a while or follow me on my social media, I've always been very upfront about my battle with depression and anxiety. It's something I've dealt with for over half of my life and I've talked at length about the ups and downs with it.

The past month has been kind of a really big pit of depression. I ended up leaving my job because of it, as I could barely get out of bed everyday. That hurt me a lot because I loved my job and it felt like this illness took it away from me. My boss and coworkers were super awesome and understanding but it really hurt to have to give up something that I enjoyed because of this.

One of the things that I hate the most about having a mental illness, is that it's invisible. So even to me, I sometimes get really angry with myself and feel like "Why couldn't you JUST GET UP?". Not seeing physical symptoms can make it feel like I'm crazy for not being able to just force myself to be "normal". To hold a job, to go out, to hang out with my friends...

It's been a lot weighing on me since then. I'm struggling with this mental illness and also struggling because the other half of me is constantly feeling guilty for not having a job and being this lump of sadness and guilt.

I started going to a new counselor and taking new meds and at this point it just takes time. It's hard because most days I feel like a shell of myself, going through the motions. 

I usually try to end my posts on a happier note, but at the moment I'm just trying to stay afloat. I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on and why I've been MIA online (or in person to my IRL friends).

Thanks for all your support and I will continue to update and try to bring some more content when I can. 

Lots of Love

Raineedayze

5 Fandom Friday: 5 Shows I Would Un-Cancel

Happy 5 Fandom Friday!

This week, we are talking cancelled shows. As nerds, I'm pretty sure we have all dealt with that horrible feeling when one of our favorite shows gets taken off the air. It's even worse when said show gets cancelled right after a HUGE cliffhanger. 

I know this feeling all too well. So let's remember these shows. Gone but never forgotten.

5. Firefly

     I am pretty sure no list of prematurely cancelled shows would not have Firefly on it. I adore the show and got Jonathan into it, only to have to break the news that there never was a second season. Pretty sure he never forgave me for that one.

4. About A Girl

     I'm pretty sure some of ya'll are scratching your heads, wondering what the heck I'm talking about. About a Girl was a show that premiered on The N/Noggin/TeenNick in 2007. The show was about a girl who moved into a house with 4 guys. Hmmm.....where I have I heard that before? Anyways, this show was so funny and ended on the HUGEST cliffhanger. I will forever wonder if Jesse and Amy ended up together.

3. Regular Show

     I love Regular Show. I loved the art style, the characters, and the crazy nonsense Mordecai and Rigby managed to get themselves into every episode. I also adored all the pop culture references. Sadly, this show was cancelled after their 8th season last year. I will absolutely miss it.

2. Reaper

    I adored this show. Not only was the main character Brad from Grounded for Life, the premise was just insane. In case you missed this show, which apparently a lot of people did, it follows Sam, a guy who finds out (on his 21st birthday) that his parents sold his soul to the devil before he was born. Now, Sam must become a reaper for souls that have escaped Hell. I know it's a weird premise but oh my gosh the show was just so good. It was briefly renewed for a second season but cancelled again right after.

1. Black Box

    This show was one of my favorites to watch with my mom during it's short run. The show followed Dr. Catherine Black, an esteemed neurologist who secretly suffers from bipolar disorder. The show dealt with the stigmas that are often associated with mental illness in a very real, raw way. I absolutely loved this show and would have loved a few more seasons!

Honorable Mention: Perception

    
This show followed Dr. Daniel Pierce, a neuropsychiatrist with schizophrenia who helps the FBI using his hallucinations and amazing perception abilities. As a person who also deals with mental illness, I loved the idea of being able to use my mental illness as a strength and not a weakness. 


What shows would you "un-cancel" if you could? Let's chat in the comments, or tweet me @raineedayze!


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Always, Raineedayze